THE BEST WEEKEND EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Boy........i had fun during my weekend..........IT WAS FAB!!!!!!!!! We left Brunei @ 9ish..menyampati ke border.....wahaaaaaaaa...its good wen it is spontaneous...mcm kami tarus clubbing @ 4am baru sibuk cari hotel........gatal wah kaki atu kan menari.....hehehhe...mcm walau apa pun terjadi, bekelahi kah jadi nya yang pentingnya we enjoy our weekend...."CHEERS TO US....WE'VE MADE IT HAPPEN"

Final episode

Its hard not to know where you stand...simply lost..but now I know this would not last.. without you saying it I think I would know where I stand.

Thank you so much for being so kind..and having me even thou its only for short period to you..but we have been through quiet alot...I've committed my heart in its entirety...

I dun know how to say it out when we are face to face..we never talk about us...I truly adore your commitments with your work..I understand you just work so hard to get things going..I would never try to do anything that spoils the time when we are together since time were never always on our side.. But Beb...am suffering..deep inside me I'm hurt...but all this while I just keep things to myself and never say a word.. afraid you'll go mad.....

I have tried to adapt to your ways but nothing seems to satisfied you..sometime when things goes wrong..I get the blame even thou I have nothing to do with it..and yet I take it..i always said to myself its alrite..you are just so stress out..plenty on your plate...I have to understand you because I want to be with you...but until when? Everyone is asking me until when?? I have suffered quiet alot for this past few months...but I dun noe until when I can take it..but beb..I'm no longer strong....I can't fake it anymore..my loneliness and my suffering....

I think its time for me to go...I dun want to burden you..If we are meant for each other..you'll come around..but if we are not...then thats just it..I have tried my best..I'm so ready... I always tell my frens " If you love somebody, set them free. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.." If I let myself go knowing that I have to go but doesn't want to go..I know its 'love'...Deep in my heart I still love you but I don't see that you love me the way I do...why hurt each other....its hard but someone have to say it....that's the end of my love life..........thank you.....

HOROSCOPE

VIRGO:. The Virgin
>Dominant in relationships. Sexy. someone loves them right now. Freak in
>bed. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Intellectual. Attractive.
>Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Hard to forget Love at first sight.
>Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. Ultimate
>sexiness.. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
>
>.:SCORPIO:. The sex addict
>Can be mean. EXTREMELY sexy. Intelligent. Energetic. Predict future. Most
>erotic. (Freak in bed.) (GREAT kisser.) Always get what they want. Sexy.
>Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. The
>sexiest ever....Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if you do not
>forward.
>
>.:LIBRA:. The lame lover
>Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They meet. Their Love is one
>of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique sexiness. Most caring
>person you will ever meet! Amazing n Bed..!!! Did I say Amazing in Bed? not
>the kind of person you wanna #### with... u might end up crying.... the
>most irresistible. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
>
>.:ARIES:. The Liar
>Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to #### with. Erotic. Funny. Take
>you on trips to the moon in bed. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY sexy. Loves
>being in long relationships.=) Addictive. Loud. best in bed. 16 years of
>bad luck if you do not forward.
>
>.:AQUARIUS:. Does it in the water
>Trustworthy. Sexy. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term
>relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your
>expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. Amazing in
>bed, THE BEST LOVERS BETTER THAN EVERYONE! 2 years of bad luck if you do
>not forward.
>
>.:GEMINI:. Does Twosomes
>Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in bed. Lover not a
>fighter, but will still knock you the #### out. Trustworthy. Always happy.
>Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a
>beautiful smile.. Generous. Strong. ULTRA SEXY. THE MOST IRRESISTABLE. 9
>years of bad luck if you do not forward.
>
>.:LEO:. The Lion in bed
>Great talker. Sexy and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Is
>really good at. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth.
>Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative.
>Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if
>you do not forward.
>
>.:CANCER:. The Cutie
>MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high ### appeal. Great in bed!!! Love is one of a
>kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely
>creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak in bed. Spontaneous.
>Great tellin stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it
>comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. 12 years of bad luck if
>you do not forward.
>
>.:PISCES:. The Piece of ass
>Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. Too Sexy, DAMN IT. Very high
>### appeal. Has the last word. The best to find, hardest to keep. Fun to be
>around. Freak in the sheets. Extremely weird but in a good way. Super good
>in bed. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. A partner for life. Always gets
>what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. 5
>years of bad luck if you do not forward.
>
>.:CAPRICORN:. The passionate Lover
>Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future. Irrestible,
>awesome kisser. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always
>gets what he or she wants. BY FAR the BEST in BED. Very sexy. Coolest.
>Loves to own Gemini's in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Loves to be
>your first. So you'll never forget. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do
>not forward.
>
>.:TAURUS:. The Tramp
>Aggressive. Freak in bed. Rare to find! Loves being in long
>relationships.=] Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely
>outgoing. Sexy as ........ Loves to help people in times of need.
>Outstanding kisser. Very funny. Awesome personality. Stubborn. Sexual as
>......... Most caring person you will ever meet! One of a kind. Not one to
>#### with. Are the most sexiest people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if
>you do not forward.
>
>.:SAGITTARIUS:. The Sexy one
>Spontaneous. Horny. Freak in Bed. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when
>found. Loves being in long relationships. The one. So much love to give.
>Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They
>meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique
>sexiness. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in Bed..!!! Did I
>say Amazing in Bed? Not the kind of person you wanna with you might end up
>crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
>

PICS UPDATES

Just to updates on me pics...

THE SADNESS RETURNS

hello everyone........I miss ye all.......I haven't been active wif u lots..not updating blog for quiet sumtimes now..Erghh it's already May...yea yea..

I have been doing sum thinkin lately..I dunno y all the sudden m feeling this way. Things haven't been great lately. Maybe its the work load but i kindda enjoyed the things that i do now. Stressful - yes it is stressful but its fun stress..i dunno how to explain it..but its FUN! hehehhe

As i said things haven't been great with me & M*...after the last blow we had I kindda stepped back..maybe its true..it wont last..hurts me...thou I love him every bit but I need to do what is best for him...its hard to let go...really hard...Seeing the picture perfect of him & her..I can't ruin that...Seeing him with her..it hurts but you have to swallow it..they arer just so perfect..i'm just the shadow..standing beside him.....while they stand side by side..erghhh...I need to think about this relationship..should i let go or stay...Its kindda confusing...1 minute he's ok..the next minute he's not...most of the time its hard to understand..have i not been a good girl eversince we are 2gether? Well I have always been in fear not to do anything that displeased him..god who am i kidding here??but its all love..one of my fren totally disagree wif me..she's always pissed at me & tell me off wen i told her i cant go anywhere as i need to inform him 1st...well not that his possessive..he will allow me to go as usual but at times the ending will always be an argument..I hate arguments...

The last we had I agreed to put my distance as I dun want to stress him when he have plenty on his plate..It was hard...but i tried...at the end he apologize and I have to understand he's under pressure lately...but wat about my feelings..I have been keeping it to myself lately..cried all alone thinking about it..is it worthed to shed my tears over this..??? I have to think about all of this again..I love him..I love him...I love u sooooo much....but If i have to let u go..it doesn't mean that i dun love u..i truly do...but m hurting...deep inside me its hurts so bad...i dun wanna end this..as it means so much to me...Maybe I'll meet someone good for me...then I will let go...But how to meet with someone new?? m so sorry babe...I dont see the fire anymore...its fading slowly...slowly everyday..... I love u.........really love you..I'll hate myself for doing this but I must do it...and when the time is right the decision will be from me and no turning back..my decision will be.......final.....

MARCHIES

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL THE "MARCHIANS" (MARCH) ooooh........so many birthday...first its abang, then daddy, then mumy...then abg ajip & pol...pokai eh........hehehheh....

darling will be away again for 5 days or more...sigh....so wat will i be doing?? sure m gonna miss him..hope i won be sick lagi like last tyme he wen off to India kah...i was so sick...I wish i culd join him but cant.

I also miss A*...he'll be gone for 2 wks..umrah...siok nya....best giler...............sapa tah kan dangan ni? Dee will be off to s'pore for 4 days...c M* ke states... I will be stuck here then.. I WANNA GO...I DUN WAN 2 STAY HERE..I WILL BE LONELY.. boring jua eh.. I wish i can go sumwhere..enjoy myself ..relax.. refreshing..its unfair that M* was having fun 2 nytes in a row.. HU HAAA...me nada??!!! why?? well since he'll b gone, i better plan the weekend..have it handy..heheh..who knows..maybe HUUHAA di labuan..lama dah nda HUUHAA wif the cuzins..hemmm dats a thought... better plan it wif them..it'll be more thrilling if the rest of the groups go..hahahahha..pacah labuan tu..last tyme i wen there It was the "BEST WEEKEND EVER" but balek kana marah leh daling..apa lah marah..ish selalu tah tu..oh well................bah let me get on wif my plans..Vavai.....

MIRI Anyone???

MY Sadness

I LOVE YOU..... but do you say it for the sake of just saying it or you really meant wat you said... It's difficult to noe if ur partner really mean it... especially when that someone is wif someone else... hey as wat some people says sharing is caring???? aiks.... But do you noe it really hurts to hear them saying "I LOVE YOU" to the other person.... but what can you do....u were given a choice either to pursue or to let go....you want it.. so face it. Sometimes it's difficult to even put a straight face when you just heard their lovely conversation and ending it with the "LOVE U".... Why??? Can't blame anyone for this coz you wanted it that way - AGAIN face it...You just wish you culd run away and not hear the conversation...sometimes it makes you think if this is for real...or you're just some bimbo that they bedded to satisfied their needs....

Gee..you just love being around him/ her...being together is so thrilling... and the loved for eachother is different...but untill when?? let time decide and just follow the flow....its an indefinite relationship..most of them never last...sum lasted for one year...sum continues for a very very long time....... You culd find sumone better that doesn't belong to sumone else..but he/she is the one you wuld still want to be wif...even if you dun wake up every morning beside each other..not receiving the hugs & kisses every day....he/she tried to full fill your needs even thou they cant be around you as well & we should appreciate that..at least we dun feel 100% abandon by them..they do make an effort to do everything for you..

My sadness.........is this for real.............???