Listen......

Is it possible Mr. Loveable
is already in my life?
right in front of me
or maybe you're in disguise


if there's a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end
how do I find the perfect fit
there's enough for everyone
but I'm still waiting in line

THE BEST WEEKEND EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Boy........i had fun during my weekend..........IT WAS FAB!!!!!!!!! We left Brunei @ 9ish..menyampati ke border.....wahaaaaaaaa...its good wen it is spontaneous...mcm kami tarus clubbing @ 4am baru sibuk cari hotel........gatal wah kaki atu kan menari.....hehehhe...mcm walau apa pun terjadi, bekelahi kah jadi nya yang pentingnya we enjoy our weekend...."CHEERS TO US....WE'VE MADE IT HAPPEN"

Final episode

Its hard not to know where you stand...simply lost..but now I know this would not last.. without you saying it I think I would know where I stand.

Thank you so much for being so kind..and having me even thou its only for short period to you..but we have been through quiet alot...I've committed my heart in its entirety...

I dun know how to say it out when we are face to face..we never talk about us...I truly adore your commitments with your work..I understand you just work so hard to get things going..I would never try to do anything that spoils the time when we are together since time were never always on our side.. But Beb...am suffering..deep inside me I'm hurt...but all this while I just keep things to myself and never say a word.. afraid you'll go mad.....

I have tried to adapt to your ways but nothing seems to satisfied you..sometime when things goes wrong..I get the blame even thou I have nothing to do with it..and yet I take it..i always said to myself its alrite..you are just so stress out..plenty on your plate...I have to understand you because I want to be with you...but until when? Everyone is asking me until when?? I have suffered quiet alot for this past few months...but I dun noe until when I can take it..but beb..I'm no longer strong....I can't fake it anymore..my loneliness and my suffering....

I think its time for me to go...I dun want to burden you..If we are meant for each other..you'll come around..but if we are not...then thats just it..I have tried my best..I'm so ready... I always tell my frens " If you love somebody, set them free. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.." If I let myself go knowing that I have to go but doesn't want to go..I know its 'love'...Deep in my heart I still love you but I don't see that you love me the way I do...why hurt each other....its hard but someone have to say it....that's the end of my love life..........thank you.....

HOROSCOPE

VIRGO:. The Virgin
>Dominant in relationships. Sexy. someone loves them right now. Freak in
>bed. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Intellectual. Attractive.
>Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Hard to forget Love at first sight.
>Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. Ultimate
>sexiness.. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
>
>.:SCORPIO:. The sex addict
>Can be mean. EXTREMELY sexy. Intelligent. Energetic. Predict future. Most
>erotic. (Freak in bed.) (GREAT kisser.) Always get what they want. Sexy.
>Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. The
>sexiest ever....Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if you do not
>forward.
>
>.:LIBRA:. The lame lover
>Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They meet. Their Love is one
>of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique sexiness. Most caring
>person you will ever meet! Amazing n Bed..!!! Did I say Amazing in Bed? not
>the kind of person you wanna #### with... u might end up crying.... the
>most irresistible. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
>
>.:ARIES:. The Liar
>Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to #### with. Erotic. Funny. Take
>you on trips to the moon in bed. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY sexy. Loves
>being in long relationships.=) Addictive. Loud. best in bed. 16 years of
>bad luck if you do not forward.
>
>.:AQUARIUS:. Does it in the water
>Trustworthy. Sexy. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term
>relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your
>expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. Amazing in
>bed, THE BEST LOVERS BETTER THAN EVERYONE! 2 years of bad luck if you do
>not forward.
>
>.:GEMINI:. Does Twosomes
>Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in bed. Lover not a
>fighter, but will still knock you the #### out. Trustworthy. Always happy.
>Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a
>beautiful smile.. Generous. Strong. ULTRA SEXY. THE MOST IRRESISTABLE. 9
>years of bad luck if you do not forward.
>
>.:LEO:. The Lion in bed
>Great talker. Sexy and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Is
>really good at. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth.
>Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative.
>Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if
>you do not forward.
>
>.:CANCER:. The Cutie
>MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high ### appeal. Great in bed!!! Love is one of a
>kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely
>creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak in bed. Spontaneous.
>Great tellin stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it
>comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. 12 years of bad luck if
>you do not forward.
>
>.:PISCES:. The Piece of ass
>Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. Too Sexy, DAMN IT. Very high
>### appeal. Has the last word. The best to find, hardest to keep. Fun to be
>around. Freak in the sheets. Extremely weird but in a good way. Super good
>in bed. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. A partner for life. Always gets
>what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. 5
>years of bad luck if you do not forward.
>
>.:CAPRICORN:. The passionate Lover
>Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future. Irrestible,
>awesome kisser. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always
>gets what he or she wants. BY FAR the BEST in BED. Very sexy. Coolest.
>Loves to own Gemini's in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Loves to be
>your first. So you'll never forget. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do
>not forward.
>
>.:TAURUS:. The Tramp
>Aggressive. Freak in bed. Rare to find! Loves being in long
>relationships.=] Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely
>outgoing. Sexy as ........ Loves to help people in times of need.
>Outstanding kisser. Very funny. Awesome personality. Stubborn. Sexual as
>......... Most caring person you will ever meet! One of a kind. Not one to
>#### with. Are the most sexiest people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if
>you do not forward.
>
>.:SAGITTARIUS:. The Sexy one
>Spontaneous. Horny. Freak in Bed. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when
>found. Loves being in long relationships. The one. So much love to give.
>Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They
>meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique
>sexiness. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in Bed..!!! Did I
>say Amazing in Bed? Not the kind of person you wanna with you might end up
>crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
>

PICS UPDATES

Just to updates on me pics...

THE SADNESS RETURNS

hello everyone........I miss ye all.......I haven't been active wif u lots..not updating blog for quiet sumtimes now..Erghh it's already May...yea yea..

I have been doing sum thinkin lately..I dunno y all the sudden m feeling this way. Things haven't been great lately. Maybe its the work load but i kindda enjoyed the things that i do now. Stressful - yes it is stressful but its fun stress..i dunno how to explain it..but its FUN! hehehhe

As i said things haven't been great with me & M*...after the last blow we had I kindda stepped back..maybe its true..it wont last..hurts me...thou I love him every bit but I need to do what is best for him...its hard to let go...really hard...Seeing the picture perfect of him & her..I can't ruin that...Seeing him with her..it hurts but you have to swallow it..they arer just so perfect..i'm just the shadow..standing beside him.....while they stand side by side..erghhh...I need to think about this relationship..should i let go or stay...Its kindda confusing...1 minute he's ok..the next minute he's not...most of the time its hard to understand..have i not been a good girl eversince we are 2gether? Well I have always been in fear not to do anything that displeased him..god who am i kidding here??but its all love..one of my fren totally disagree wif me..she's always pissed at me & tell me off wen i told her i cant go anywhere as i need to inform him 1st...well not that his possessive..he will allow me to go as usual but at times the ending will always be an argument..I hate arguments...

The last we had I agreed to put my distance as I dun want to stress him when he have plenty on his plate..It was hard...but i tried...at the end he apologize and I have to understand he's under pressure lately...but wat about my feelings..I have been keeping it to myself lately..cried all alone thinking about it..is it worthed to shed my tears over this..??? I have to think about all of this again..I love him..I love him...I love u sooooo much....but If i have to let u go..it doesn't mean that i dun love u..i truly do...but m hurting...deep inside me its hurts so bad...i dun wanna end this..as it means so much to me...Maybe I'll meet someone good for me...then I will let go...But how to meet with someone new?? m so sorry babe...I dont see the fire anymore...its fading slowly...slowly everyday..... I love u.........really love you..I'll hate myself for doing this but I must do it...and when the time is right the decision will be from me and no turning back..my decision will be.......final.....

MARCHIES

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL THE "MARCHIANS" (MARCH) ooooh........so many birthday...first its abang, then daddy, then mumy...then abg ajip & pol...pokai eh........hehehheh....

darling will be away again for 5 days or more...sigh....so wat will i be doing?? sure m gonna miss him..hope i won be sick lagi like last tyme he wen off to India kah...i was so sick...I wish i culd join him but cant.

I also miss A*...he'll be gone for 2 wks..umrah...siok nya....best giler...............sapa tah kan dangan ni? Dee will be off to s'pore for 4 days...c M* ke states... I will be stuck here then.. I WANNA GO...I DUN WAN 2 STAY HERE..I WILL BE LONELY.. boring jua eh.. I wish i can go sumwhere..enjoy myself ..relax.. refreshing..its unfair that M* was having fun 2 nytes in a row.. HU HAAA...me nada??!!! why?? well since he'll b gone, i better plan the weekend..have it handy..heheh..who knows..maybe HUUHAA di labuan..lama dah nda HUUHAA wif the cuzins..hemmm dats a thought... better plan it wif them..it'll be more thrilling if the rest of the groups go..hahahahha..pacah labuan tu..last tyme i wen there It was the "BEST WEEKEND EVER" but balek kana marah leh daling..apa lah marah..ish selalu tah tu..oh well................bah let me get on wif my plans..Vavai.....

MIRI Anyone???

MY Sadness

I LOVE YOU..... but do you say it for the sake of just saying it or you really meant wat you said... It's difficult to noe if ur partner really mean it... especially when that someone is wif someone else... hey as wat some people says sharing is caring???? aiks.... But do you noe it really hurts to hear them saying "I LOVE YOU" to the other person.... but what can you do....u were given a choice either to pursue or to let go....you want it.. so face it. Sometimes it's difficult to even put a straight face when you just heard their lovely conversation and ending it with the "LOVE U".... Why??? Can't blame anyone for this coz you wanted it that way - AGAIN face it...You just wish you culd run away and not hear the conversation...sometimes it makes you think if this is for real...or you're just some bimbo that they bedded to satisfied their needs....

Gee..you just love being around him/ her...being together is so thrilling... and the loved for eachother is different...but untill when?? let time decide and just follow the flow....its an indefinite relationship..most of them never last...sum lasted for one year...sum continues for a very very long time....... You culd find sumone better that doesn't belong to sumone else..but he/she is the one you wuld still want to be wif...even if you dun wake up every morning beside each other..not receiving the hugs & kisses every day....he/she tried to full fill your needs even thou they cant be around you as well & we should appreciate that..at least we dun feel 100% abandon by them..they do make an effort to do everything for you..

My sadness.........is this for real.............???

UPDATES

fewwitttttttttttttttttttttt.....................Yeap i noe i haven't been updating my blog ever since kena talak..huahaaa....

Yeap am in kb doing new things..well not really new lah basically its the same thing plang doing secretarial work..managing the office here.. Zilla its M.A.N.A.G.I.N.G huaahaaa...apa zilla ~ Bitch??? Why am i not surprise the word will be out from your mouth!!!

Zilla imagine if d'lamb tebaca semua ani mati kali ia ah..heart attack tarus plus mummy lamb tetalan sigup hahahahahhahahah..kita ketawa kan beramai.........paksa menyanyi lagu kebangsaan c lamb beramai!!!

My new frens sini pun ok..banyak yang klik...yang nda klik ada lah certain2 peeps..but so far so good..dunno till when but i hope i can survive ..am i doing the right thing here??? entah lah m kindda confuse with the whole situation..confuse giler...i think bcoz i resigned 24 hrs atu kali ah..

I miss all my friends disana tu...........missing zilla dengan riuh2 nya...anak didikan c rozane kali ah....missing dhora...p**e banar....missing suzie..bilaa...jua..........then there's the boys tempat mengacui...huahaaa..well c wafroo then c hadi baby gileer...hi di..then Yura yure..hey baby..miss ya..bila tah belanja ani???

To all ye people...kuat kan semangat kamu..perjuangkan lah ajaran2 c ROZANE...huahaa...MISS U ALL...........LOVE ALWAYS...KEEP IN TOUCH..Lain kali lagi achui d bsb..di kb ani abis dah d achui kan...

MONDAY BLUES...........

Dame i woke up late tis morning..so comfy under the duvet..the weather really gets to you..sajuk gi..kan bagus ada daling with you...but????

Rushing to get ready for work..leave the house by 7.30 w/o Breakfast!!! Shit....LAPOOOOO NYE....

Wah ramai sudah org tepacak di ATM di seluruh Brunei..Y???? Bonus beb..jgn galat..heheh..susah cari parking hari ni..slalunya its easy to find a parking space near the loading bay but not today..

hemm...briefing was never brief on monday morning..dame..panjang saja ceta nya entah apa2 lah complain yang nda masuk akal. Today 2 meetings to attend! Ish nda pandai beranti ja meeting but no out come. productivity..zeero....retify problems..on going or either still pending for apa2 lah!! Aiseyman napa ku merepek hari ani.

Saturday nite me & the family had dinner..it was nice actually..we went to nyonya di serusop & they have entertainment there!! Waaahh..best giler..they have a singing waitress and waiter..god dame it..suara waitress nya atu POWER TO THE MAX...

Sunday..my grand parents & aunt came down from KB..we had lunch & so called high tea di rumah jerudong..siok lah..i really enjoy the family get together..especially time AF fever or KDI..dame..every saturday nite biasa tah tu..semua mesti ada schedule nya for family dinner..every week we change venue..

OHHHoooohhh...last friday my sister angkat & bro baru di angkat came over to ma'cribs..saja wishing me a fab birthday...so we wen for our Kolo sessions di Ban sumthing..eh nyaman giler kolo mee nya sana..banar tah! Di jamin hebat! After the kolo'ing (hehehe..apakannnnn...) baru tah buka ceta..rupanya durang kan be jarum2..WHAT MY BABY SIS KAN ENGAGE??? wuuhuuu..am happy for both of them..& Len yeap its time and you found yourself Mr. Right yea...so we were discussing about cincin lah..procedure of the Jarum2 lah..ada procedure jua kah?? We went jalaning to survey for cincin..You lucky BITCH!! That one lucky finger will be dame HAPPY soon..I tag along je lah ikut2 cuba cincin..mana lah tau....suatu hari nanti........???? WHAT???? Dame Woman!!can't I have a new diamond ring also?? Juz to make that bold finger filled.Wuhuu..

Well very best of Luck to you both LENNY & EMIH.. Lenn kalau kan kursus masak..makcik sedia menolong mu..no worries gerenti pass punya..emak mertua you akan sayang dengan you..hehehhe...But 1st session mesti belajar goreng telur....heheheh..Lenny..lenny....To EMIH..yeap you sure proved it to her my boy..chewah..lautan Api sanggup ku renangi..LOL..ade je ye...

Wokay chow cincau santan ye..........

2 MORE DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wooohoooooooooooo...................my birthday is coming soon..........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wish lists...

tag Heure

Bouquet

Prada

new handphone

Gucci bag

perfect holiday

perfect candle light dinner....

Kiss from darrrrrrling............................

Lovely.......weekend

Fewwwwiiitttt....3 more days for my birthday.....yeeeeeepy....best nya.......

Yeap am looking forward for my birthday! Dunno why tis year am so keapo..but seriously am looking forward...hemmmmmm...I'll be exchanging gift with Yura since we both have the same birth date as well as dzaty.

I had such a lovely...lovely weekend with darrling..It's nice to get away just the two of us..But eeergghh..heavy traffic di border!!! Mental c daling tarus..well the thing is we were suppose to take off from BSB early..I woke up early plang..start my packing.. baru cbuk cari passport sampai mummy pun ikut cari...breakfast dulu...then mandi kan c twiggy lagi..hair dryer ia lagi supaya 'hengsam'..dame I was taking my sweet time to do all those when I realise its almost 8..baru tah cbuk mandi..well selalu nya c darling ani never on time so i was thinking when he said 9.. to me it'll be like 930 or almost 10..but dat day its like 9 meaning 9 sharp.. ia ada..ooooOOpss...sorry hun i underestimate you...euuuwww..We left exactly at 930 dengan Darling ada lah jua ckit2 bising...I diam je lah..............wat to do...my fault...sudah di KB...uhuhhhh..panjang queue...dame..kena bising lagi lah makcik..alamak..To tell you the truth its not a habit of mine to be late in any occasion, I'm always punctual..I hate to be late..but sumhow i guess i'm used to waiting for him for 1/2 hour or more..so i tot it'll be the same lah..errr..so he was not really happy with the long queues..it was raining lagi and he needs to be at the golf course b4 1..well for nearly 1 hour caught in the traffic di Brunei border nda jua berapa kali ah..hehhehe..but the Malaysian border not so bad..quiet efficient lah..

Sampai ja arah bridge...ITS MIRI BABY..................uhuhhhhuuu..check in..he went for his golf so i stayed di hotel saja continuing my sleep...I was actually planing to jalan2..but sumhow with the weather..heheh..cant resist the fluffy pillow..the bed..uhuhhh...macam pillow atu was calling me "Try me...try mee...me...." LOL..I slept till 5pm..wah itu sudah bagus..nda sampai kan jalan2 pasal malas sudah..

We had dinner together arah seafood centre..It was nice..but sumthing happen masa awal2 atu...ish..i refrain myself from crying...I cant believe sumone would just create sumthing so low about you when this person doesn't even noe you!! DAME IT!!..i admit i noe this person but we never talk to eachother even if there's an opportunity but entah ah...this particular person doesnt interest me... not a bit.. well daling made an effort to change the topics..i tried to be in the conversation but my mind was sumwhere else..sob..sob..sob..

We reached Kb @ 4 ish..wah..long queue plang but again Malaysian border was fast..even panjang sudah keta..they had the initiative to open 4 lane to avoid more traffic..BRUNEI pun sama beb..kami pun surprise..it was super duper fast..kejap je..CONGRATS TO THEM!!! apa nya daling..'This people shud be given a medal"..hahha..(refreshing back yesterday memory...rewind..rewind..) beb..yesterday bising you!! hahah..nakal daling ah..

Sudah sampai rumah..errgghh..lonely tah jua rasa nya..its nice to be together..It was a lovely week end..i had such a good tyme even thou I never get to do any shopping at all..but being with him its more than enough..
THANK YOU HUNN..IT WAS LOVELY..

Ohhh...but today he's sick...my poor baby is sick..hemmm..bakas bahapa tu ah????????????????? heheh...*WINK*
GET WELL SOON HUNN...LOVE U...

Crackkk.................

last nyte turns out to be just o'rite after a hectic, pathetic, metallic, boombastic..(bla....bla..bla..) day at work in the morning..Urrggghhh...hate it when sumone questioning your credibility!!! HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!! Bitch.....!!! if its not me who will be doing the job?? U??? My ass!!! erggghhh... wookay.. left the office on the dot (huaahaa..kes menyamal..awal kuar) then singgah jerudong bali udang & ikan..hey i do go to the wet market..am very domestic kali aaahh.....every Thursday tutong ada tamu kan..to me its like Disneyland tuu...or perhaps its like going to Prada boutiques..or CD...or..Vera Wong...or...watever yang penting nya I do go there to get all the freshies..even i dun noe the names of the fishes (hehehe no proper intro. yooo...)..but I DO btw who am i trying to convince??? LOL...I have been craving for seafood for days now..eversince mummy & dee stayed over, the menu is like fried chicken in the morning..then Chicken curry malam..yang pentingnya chicken lah saja menu kami hari2... Oooh..i happen to meet my junior from school while I was shopping for freshies..

ThE wOmAn:" hey zane...."

mE:"hiiiii..(happy..happy..but the brain was force to figure the name & trying to recall who she is..rewind..rewinding..terpaksa senyum kambing)

ThE wOmAn:" nda ia tau nie eh..i'm your junior sekolah dulu..ingat nda.. masa tani ada this pom pom for asean school opening..nurul.."

mE:"Ya..hi..(masih nda recall..what the heck at least she knows my name & confirmed she's from our school)

ThE wOmAn:" what are you doing now? kahwin sudah?? (gulp...senyum kambing lagi..)

mE:"eh ani anak kah ni?"

ThE wOmAn:"awu dua orang sudah...u brapa orang anak??"

Buat-buat bodoh saja trying to ignore the question..

mE:"ok lah ah..nice meeting you..kan capat..hujan hari karang.."

Gulppp...anak??? hemmm..uhuuu..anak kucing saja ada..I only have c'twiggy...

Anyway..reached home put the apron on ,then start marinating the fish..'the maid' huh..she just help me with the onions & the garlic..kerja nya pounding saja lah...then preparing my special dish...'Petai Goreng Udang sambal belacan' Foooooyooooooo.....best giler beb!! yaahaa..i much prefer makan makanan kampung..yang pentingnya i eat anything lah..liat badan che. I remember ma'old man said that if you eat all this ulam ulam you will stay young..huhuh...awet muda..its only me yang suka makan masakan kampung unlike my other siblings. Durang nda berapa pandai makan all those things..like cencaluk, tempoyak then there's this pengaga..apa2 yang kampong lah..

After my dinner, I went upstairs & main PS saja lah...c twigg pun nda berapa sehat lapas dari hospital beinjek..
Then c bro called kan bawa lepak main Pool..ish hujan lagi baru jua lapas mandi..malas eh....so he end up coming over to my crib..ceta ceta....Waaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaa...thanks bro for dropping by...me ngantuk dah nie..bah good the nite is the morning is the woking me (translation : Goodnight dear brother wake me in the morning ya..)apaaakannn....

bah eh...yea naden apo..kunta yelea ngasam..apare yele nadem ~ translation : bah eh kan bekaja ku nie eh!

Lol vavai............

Sooo....not good

Man..waz so fucked up yesterday...urgghhhh....banci to the maxxxxxxx..........

I ended up going to a frenz place last nyte..yeap we had our session alrite..both feeling fucked up..we sat on her garage roof while listening to this rascal flatts song "what hurts the most"..NON STOP..baik jua MP3 if pakai cassette..hancus sudah..oddly i end up liking the song..its a nice country song.. sumhow i miss c boyfriend last nite..the song really gets to me..sob sob sob...

oh yea..before going to my frenz crib..i drop by to get sum food..i culd starve to death if i drop by to the place not bringing any food..so behind me ada tah mak nyahs...bitch'in about the boyfriend.. HEY!!!!...they were juz behind me..wat do u expect org tuli pun alum tantu mendengar ah.........ATWooowah..apa kan...

This one of this Mak nyah was telling yang boyfriend nya baru balik dari zurich..so ia kana balikan beg LV...

Mak Nyah A' : " Beb...bf ku bali kan ku beg LV yang baru..."

Mak Nyah B' : " Ai...banci ku eh...baru jua ko bali beg masa di singapore"

Mak Nyah A' : " Awu...but biasa lah..he knows what she likes ( PUI!!!!...Apa kan HE..SHE..Jadi nya ko tu bukan HE??? beb dalam hati ku becakap ni) ..ani tunggu yang sorang lagi apa di bali kan nya for me...Me suka present..

I was like dumbstruck..macam hello I'm a female kali ah...kan dapat sampai 2-3 orang boyfriend lagi ku nda mampu...cana kan divide tyme..kaja sudah from 8-5pm..then malam mau jua rehat..cana kan schedule kan ah?? mesti tah men' stunt ni... after paying for the food..i was kindda reluctant to pusing ke belakang..heheh..sal bakas tedengar durang bitching kan...but..terpaksa jua pusing lah...I just smile at both of them..but biasalah durang ani..payah kan senyum..pilih org beb..hemmm..like i care so i just walked to the door..i wanted to take a glimpse at them lagi..mak nyah ani lawa2 kan & pandai be baju lagi..BEB!!!!!!!!!!! sudah me pusing..me nampak nda jua berapa U atu beb!!! BEB buleh pakai short skirt beb..but please shave dulu bulu kaki ah..keriting keriting beb.. me malu eh... LOL!!!

12....

miss 'boyku'...i really miss him lah...i can take a few tears now & then and just let them out. These are the days every now and again i pretend that I'm ok but that's not what gets me..

What hurt me the most was being so close and never knowing what could have been..loving you is what i was trying to do....

its hard to deal with the pain not being close to you where ever I go..its hard to force a smile when i see frenz and I'm alone..

Huaaaaaaaahaaaaaa...

???

Counting the days for my birthday..i was never excited and sooo looking forward for my birthday....me and yura is really counting the days...heheh...both of us are doing the countdown together...

What i want for my birthday is just to be wif my "boyku" for the eve of my birthday. Then i'll go back to my parents & celebrate it with them on the next day.

Finally the boyfriend msg...ergghhhh....thank you sayang..hemm i maybe off to the hospital after work..chit chat wif emak n mum on the latest issues..have been so occupied wif work and my grand dad @ bapa. Bapa was transfer from KB to BSB hospital..at least BSB is fully equipped unlike KB. He's recovering thou and so looking forward to go back to KB. Semua orang di inform nya that he'll be going home Monday..i hope so otherwise you'll see him grumpy & semua org kan di marah nya tu..........

Wondering wat to do tonight?? c boyfriend?? hemm dunno if he's available or not..maybe c some friends n enjoy dinner wif thembefore that MUST DO = lepak le di hospital..hehehe apa jua siok nya..but ok lah..ada saja kan d'liat...hehehe..

wokay..need to find frenz to hang out dulu for tonite..mun inda.. Tido je lah......... have a nice weekend..

Why does it hurt so bad......

Have you ever love some one so deeply...and happens that all the sudden you dun received any calls or text from him/her...it makes you wonder and you decide to ring him/her.. what do you get is a response from overseas operator saying its unreachable.. Why??????........dumbstruck.. everything clutters ur mind..you try to think positively.. and yet there's always a bit of negative thoughts trying to squeeze in that mind of your..errrgghh........

Sad...but what can you do?? nothing...................hurt...so hurt.... Cry yourself to sleep thinking about it..feeling so lost..no one to turn to.... sad.............

Good bye 2006.....Hello 2007

Feeewitt.............2007... a New Year..new things..new image..new boyfriend/ girlfriend (?)..urgghhh hemm... husband/ wife..amah..bla..bla....everything new lah kali ah.. *ATOWaaah*

What was i up to during my new year's eve? Well in the morning, woke up early coz kami meliat kerbau kena sembelih due to my dad buat kan "korban" for us. As what my dad cakap kami mesti me'witness lah katanya. That morning me dengan suka hatinya pakai baju kurung merah but when we reach arah slaughter house ( apa jua rumah my uncle... sebelah je..). mengamuk wah 2 ekor kerbau ah...juz when i was about to step in dekat kandang harimau nya ..eh heheh salah.....kandang kerbau tu..habis di tendangnya pagar sal ia mau lapas. I can juz imagine myself running around wif my red baju kurung kena attack leh kerbau!! That would definitely create a history for me. LOL

Night time kami semua rumah my mak'uda sembahyang jema'ah. Then BBQ jua lah. Dunno ah this year seems to be quiet saja. Not really happening la..i guess age factor jua kali ah..emm..
Well i was thinking off spending tyme with sumone special, candle light dinner..then listen to music..snuggling each other & enjoy the drinks.. but in the end.. I stayed home doing some unfinished work that i decide to make love wif..sampai c twig sasak nda kena layan and gigit my kaki. C 'boyku" call me quiet late..i was half asleep.. well its nice to noe sumone still care for u.. love u hunnn.....

1st of Jan, i was so busy helping my lil'sis to get ready with her school things. Beli beg then barang stationery, kasut lah...well since durang my parents bukan nya nda mau bali kan but my lil sis ani susah eh.. so i told my parents i'll do the shopping with amera..let her go wif me. we bought all the things that she needs..well not all..shoes & bag ..that cost more than wat i budgeted for her!!! Then bras lagi..socks lagi..wah all this cost more than B$100.. kalau dulu ah tyme sekolah apa jua kasut kung fu yang itam atu..n bag.. lawa tah jua pakai beg jeans atu..lol..ia kah?? Sama lah jua kali ah..I remember kasut mesti tah yang mother care punya kasut..which we call it kasut "botom" dun ask me y we call it kasut "botom" but yea.. socks pun mother care.. at dat time my aunt pun disana so kira bole lah kirim2.. beg masa atu famous beg yang ada jam di belakang..n barang garfield..eeehh...

well good experience plang mana lah tau satu hari nanti i'll be doing the shopping for my kids..entah apa kah lagi fashion nya nanti?? hehehhe....